When Life Rocks the Boat, and You end up Treading Water...

I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long.  After I lost the baby in June, I shut down.  I found myself in depression worse than I've dealt with since I was first diagnosed.  Even Post-partum depression, which I suffered greatly after Little Jack Horner was born, paled in comparison.  

I am beyond grateful for the family and friends who stood by my side, held my hand, watched me cry & break down, and just stuck around.  That wasn't everyone, though.  A few friends decided that it was too much for them to handle & vanished from my life.  

As summer came to a close, our Homeschool journey began.  Life began to roll into a full swing.  My Bible Study & Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) groups resumed & life. went. on.  Without my baby.  

Little Miss Muffet started playing soccer this year!  Her Dad & I coached the team!  She was a superstar & really enjoyed it.  Little Jack Horner is desperate to be old enough, next year, to play.  

We traveled to Utah for my baby brother's wedding, and to meet his beautiful bride!  

On the trip home, we stopped in Park City to see some hot air balloons, and meet up with one of my longest-time friends!  She & I have known one another since Kindergarten!!

Halloween came along, and I found myself with a little less zeal for the holiday, so I was not as prepared as in years past.  Instead of handmade family-coordinated costumes, the kids picked Superman & Supergirl costumes from Costco.  I bought Papa Bear a Superman jacket, and made a SuperMom iron-on for a sweatshirt & a quick tulle tutu.  It was fun, even though my heart wasn't all-in this year.  

Next came Thanksgiving, and that was the hardest of all!  I was supposed to be home with a newborn baby, not traveling to family, to celebrate.  It wasn't completely terrible...  The drone of the television blasting the parade & football games made me a little more numb.  Being with family does have it's pluses, and the drama-creating side of the family stayed away, so it ended up being a decent day.  

Just after Thanksgiving, our favorite photographer took our family portraits -- something that also would have included our newborn baby this year.  Our photographer is extremely compassionate & even managed to get me to laugh.  Now, if I could just get over my body-consciousness (after losing the baby, I really just stopped caring.  It was simply too much, to care about myself).  

As we rolled our way toward Christmas, and the end of the year, I felt myself falling apart more often, yelling more, and just all around unhappy.  Not only were the "winter blues" hitting me, but the reality of celebrating without that 5th family member.  We pretty much abandoned our studies & tried to just live life.  

We were gifted some tickets to go to the "North Pole Experience," which was a true joy.  We took my little sister with us, and we had a great time exploring Santa's Workshop!  

One of our favorite Christmastime traditions is our annual Photos with Santa in the woods!  Another of our favorite photographers sets up these exclusive photo shoots & we just love doing them!  This year, my parents & little sister were able to come & participate with us!  

Christmas was, thankfully, spent at home, super low-key, with just the 4 of us!  We celebrated with extended family at all different times, and had a lazy Christmas Day at home (in PJ's, watching movies, playing games & enjoying our gifts)!  

Well, that brings us to the close of 2016, a year that I am honestly glad to see go.  It's been a rough year, emotionally.  There WERE good things & I don't want to neglect those, but I am praying that 2017 will be rejuvenating for our family!